It's Called That For A Reason!

Our gorgeos little Valentine

Feb. 2010




I wrote this in February and didn't get to posting it until now:



Last week my sweet Grandfather took his leave. This resulted in lots of sadness as well as another last minute trip to Seattle to attend his memorial service. We flew to and from Seattle in a span of 9 hours from start to finish. I noticed that, like our last plane trip, this one also threw off Fauna’s intestinal “schedule”…simply put, she didn’t poo for days and her gas was of the stinky sort. She was not keen on going potty at all. No biggee.

We’ve been back home for a week or so now and, to our delight, have realized that Fauna has started to verbalize whether she needs to go or not. When we take her diaper off, we always put her over the potty before clothing her in a fresh diaper. If she does need to go, she smiles really big and sometimes throws in an occasional giggle, if she doesn’t need to go she will make a few moany squawks (nose wrinkle optional). We don’t even have to hold her over the toilet for three seconds before she tells us exactly what she needs.

In the same way she’s learned that: When mommy starts to unsnap her tank top clip, it means I’m getting food soon! I’m gonna stop crying now, and wait here with my mouth gaping open until she feeds me…3,2,1....mmmm that’s good!”
she’s also learned:
“When mommy or daddy hold me up like this and make that silly sound, they are letting me know I can go pee if I want. I’ll tell them what I need now that I understand what they are asking me.”

This new discovery had been pretty rad for both Griff and me, Fauna seems to dig it too. It’s nuts being able to “talk” with a baby who isn’t even four months yet! We’re really starting to understand even more fully why it’s called, “Elimination Communication”.

She's tuned in so well to our communication that once when Griff took her diaper off and said, "Potty" and then started making the the cue noise she immediately started to pee. Griff, however, had given the cue before HE was ready and decided to change potty locations at the last minute. As he was moving Fauna from the sink to the toilet, she let it rip and Griff ended up soaking the bathroom and himself with fresh, warm Fauna pee! I guess there IS a downside to communicating with your infant- they might know what you're talking about better than you do!

Grandparents Go Ga-Ga for E.C.

It’s been a while- what was I thinking starting a blog at the same time I started motherhood? I’m going to attempt the latest news in a few increments. I’ll start by saying that a teensy little yellow potty now resides in our home. It’s adorable. I went with the Bjorn brand and bought it on amazon.com. There were itty bitty plastic potties at IKEA as well, but were not recyclable, so that ultimately made the decision for me.

The yellow potty is convenient. If Fauna is playing in a particular room, or if I am busy in the kitchen, we bring the potty along and we can both hang out for a while without leaving to go to the bathroom.
Fauna’s reaction to this adorable piece of furniture?
Take it or leave it.
Truth be told, she likes being held over the bathroom toilet or sink a lot better. I think the reason for this is that she doesn’t anticipate very well and the cold plastic of the potty can be a little bit of a shocker. I do believe that it will become a much better option when she is able to sit up on her own or crawl/walk to the potty on her own terms instead of being plopped on it by mom or dad. That said, we’ve still had pretty dang good success using “the can” and I’ll continue to make it a part of our EC repertoire anticipating that she will like it more and more as she is able to use it independently.

In addition to the teeny-tiny potty, I ordered and read “Diaper Free Baby” by Christine Gross-Loh- also known as the “E.C. Bible”. It was an excellent read and unlike the King James Bible I’d read growing up, very easy to understand! We all know that the brains of a new parent can’t process much more than a two syllable word, so simplicity is a parenting book is a good thing. Though an easy read, I was impressed by how well Gross-Loh was able to sufficiently communicated the ins and outs of E.C. including tricky issues like starting E.C. later on (even as a toddler!) as well as using E.C. a working parent (yes you can!). The coolest thing about the book was that the author isn’t an extremist. She wasn’t like, “You have to do it this way or it’s simply not going to work!” She was more like-and this is paraphrased- “These are some great suggestions for E.C. but ultimately there is not a right or wrong way to do this, as long as you are doing it in love.” I liked her vibe. If you have a child who is not yet using the toilet full time, I’d strongly encourage you checking this book out. It speaks to many of the common E.C. questions and misconceptions.

On a different note, I am discovering yet another hidden treasure about E.C.- it allows for other care providers to participate in a child’s very early upbringing.

At the moment, Fauna is exclusively breastfed. We’ve thrown a few bottles of breast milk in there at times, but due to my difficult pumping issues, it’s rarely worth the hassle. Everyone seems to just love feeding babies. This I’ve learned as I’ve been asked about a kajillion times, “When will she start eating other food?” (Substitute the word, “other” for “solid”, “human”, and “real”…oh don’t even get me started!!!) I kid you not, I get this question from friends, family, waitresses, neighbors, and various others including utter strangers. This line of redundant questioning has lead me to an even stronger conviction of how central food consumption is in our culture.

Often, people genuinely don’t see the value in why I’m not introducing solids until after 6 months, even after I’ve given them all the recommendations and statistics as to why I’m going this route.- including the American Academy of Pediatrics' recomendation that, "infants should be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life, which means no formula, water, juice, or cereal." It seems to me that people would at least reason, “Well, if the mom is okay with breastfeeding exclusively, that’s just fine.” BUT THEY DON’T! Some people (and it's generally those in the “utter stranger” category that do this the most often) press and press and press! This has been one of my biggest surprises as a new mom. I expect surprise when the topic of E.C. comes up- but breastfeeding seems so much more mainstream. I’ve though a lot about this and have come up with a few explanations as to why I get questioned on the topic so often:

-If they did things differently with their children, they feel I may argue with them about our different choices, so they just jump in defending themselves before I am able to get a word out. (I don’t argue about this issue, by the way, nor do I condemn those who make different parenting choices than I.)
-They have simply learned and believe something different, like it’s ideal to introduce children to solids earlier or the idea that breastfeeding for six months will stunt a child’s palate, or…
-People think that by “denying” my daughter solid food, I am denying her pleasure. However, I see this very differently: Fauna loooooooves being cuddled up against my skin, hearing my voice closely talk to her, feeling my breathing, knowing she is safe and protected, plus- BONUS!-she gets all this WHILE eating! Talk about the height of hedonism!
-People think (maybe without even consciously recognizing it): “Kids love food, if I give kids food, I deduct that kids love me.” Simply put: others want to join in on the food-induced love fest.

And this last reason, is why I believe most of the people in my close circle, want to know- “So, when’s she going to start solids?” It’s not about validating their choices or defending themselves, it’s simply a round about way of asking how they can contribute more significantly to Fauna’s well-being. When can they hold the spoon to her mouth or mush the avocados or get her dinner plate ready? How can they help providing Fauna’s sustenance?

So, E.C. doesn't provide feeding opportunities but it certainly addresses some of this familial yearning to nurture your bloodline! At first some are a little intimidated when I suggest they take Fauna potty.
“Huh? I don’t know how! What if I do it wrong?”
But it’s not like that. As long as you know the sound cue, you know where pee and poo come out of a person, and you LOVE that person, you pretty much have all the tools for success.

When my mom and dad were here a week ago, they realized that indeed, helping with the potty was a snap! They made several comments about how happy she was going to the bathroom, which is true. When the diapers come off and she hears that sound cue, she is all grins! They were active participants in E.C. during their week long stay and enjoyed being a part of it. One time while we were watching Fauna play on her play mat, my mom even said, “Ummm, I think she has to go to the bathroom.”
Right on! Grandma’s already communicating with her grandbaby!

To their credit, when my folks heard about us practicing E.C. with Fauna, they were supportive from the get-go, but even those friends who initially looked at me strangely and lifted their eyebrows are getting into the action. All it takes is for them to be at the right place (my house) at the right time (when Fauna needs to pee) and watch the process unfold themselves and they are instantly impressed with how gentle and communicative the short little process is.

Okay, so next entry will feature an episode that took place in our house involving a case of E.C. gone too well- also entitled, “Daddy gets baby pee all over himself”. Betchu can’t wait.