It's Called That For A Reason!

Our gorgeos little Valentine

Feb. 2010




I wrote this in February and didn't get to posting it until now:



Last week my sweet Grandfather took his leave. This resulted in lots of sadness as well as another last minute trip to Seattle to attend his memorial service. We flew to and from Seattle in a span of 9 hours from start to finish. I noticed that, like our last plane trip, this one also threw off Fauna’s intestinal “schedule”…simply put, she didn’t poo for days and her gas was of the stinky sort. She was not keen on going potty at all. No biggee.

We’ve been back home for a week or so now and, to our delight, have realized that Fauna has started to verbalize whether she needs to go or not. When we take her diaper off, we always put her over the potty before clothing her in a fresh diaper. If she does need to go, she smiles really big and sometimes throws in an occasional giggle, if she doesn’t need to go she will make a few moany squawks (nose wrinkle optional). We don’t even have to hold her over the toilet for three seconds before she tells us exactly what she needs.

In the same way she’s learned that: When mommy starts to unsnap her tank top clip, it means I’m getting food soon! I’m gonna stop crying now, and wait here with my mouth gaping open until she feeds me…3,2,1....mmmm that’s good!”
she’s also learned:
“When mommy or daddy hold me up like this and make that silly sound, they are letting me know I can go pee if I want. I’ll tell them what I need now that I understand what they are asking me.”

This new discovery had been pretty rad for both Griff and me, Fauna seems to dig it too. It’s nuts being able to “talk” with a baby who isn’t even four months yet! We’re really starting to understand even more fully why it’s called, “Elimination Communication”.

She's tuned in so well to our communication that once when Griff took her diaper off and said, "Potty" and then started making the the cue noise she immediately started to pee. Griff, however, had given the cue before HE was ready and decided to change potty locations at the last minute. As he was moving Fauna from the sink to the toilet, she let it rip and Griff ended up soaking the bathroom and himself with fresh, warm Fauna pee! I guess there IS a downside to communicating with your infant- they might know what you're talking about better than you do!

Grandparents Go Ga-Ga for E.C.

It’s been a while- what was I thinking starting a blog at the same time I started motherhood? I’m going to attempt the latest news in a few increments. I’ll start by saying that a teensy little yellow potty now resides in our home. It’s adorable. I went with the Bjorn brand and bought it on amazon.com. There were itty bitty plastic potties at IKEA as well, but were not recyclable, so that ultimately made the decision for me.

The yellow potty is convenient. If Fauna is playing in a particular room, or if I am busy in the kitchen, we bring the potty along and we can both hang out for a while without leaving to go to the bathroom.
Fauna’s reaction to this adorable piece of furniture?
Take it or leave it.
Truth be told, she likes being held over the bathroom toilet or sink a lot better. I think the reason for this is that she doesn’t anticipate very well and the cold plastic of the potty can be a little bit of a shocker. I do believe that it will become a much better option when she is able to sit up on her own or crawl/walk to the potty on her own terms instead of being plopped on it by mom or dad. That said, we’ve still had pretty dang good success using “the can” and I’ll continue to make it a part of our EC repertoire anticipating that she will like it more and more as she is able to use it independently.

In addition to the teeny-tiny potty, I ordered and read “Diaper Free Baby” by Christine Gross-Loh- also known as the “E.C. Bible”. It was an excellent read and unlike the King James Bible I’d read growing up, very easy to understand! We all know that the brains of a new parent can’t process much more than a two syllable word, so simplicity is a parenting book is a good thing. Though an easy read, I was impressed by how well Gross-Loh was able to sufficiently communicated the ins and outs of E.C. including tricky issues like starting E.C. later on (even as a toddler!) as well as using E.C. a working parent (yes you can!). The coolest thing about the book was that the author isn’t an extremist. She wasn’t like, “You have to do it this way or it’s simply not going to work!” She was more like-and this is paraphrased- “These are some great suggestions for E.C. but ultimately there is not a right or wrong way to do this, as long as you are doing it in love.” I liked her vibe. If you have a child who is not yet using the toilet full time, I’d strongly encourage you checking this book out. It speaks to many of the common E.C. questions and misconceptions.

On a different note, I am discovering yet another hidden treasure about E.C.- it allows for other care providers to participate in a child’s very early upbringing.

At the moment, Fauna is exclusively breastfed. We’ve thrown a few bottles of breast milk in there at times, but due to my difficult pumping issues, it’s rarely worth the hassle. Everyone seems to just love feeding babies. This I’ve learned as I’ve been asked about a kajillion times, “When will she start eating other food?” (Substitute the word, “other” for “solid”, “human”, and “real”…oh don’t even get me started!!!) I kid you not, I get this question from friends, family, waitresses, neighbors, and various others including utter strangers. This line of redundant questioning has lead me to an even stronger conviction of how central food consumption is in our culture.

Often, people genuinely don’t see the value in why I’m not introducing solids until after 6 months, even after I’ve given them all the recommendations and statistics as to why I’m going this route.- including the American Academy of Pediatrics' recomendation that, "infants should be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life, which means no formula, water, juice, or cereal." It seems to me that people would at least reason, “Well, if the mom is okay with breastfeeding exclusively, that’s just fine.” BUT THEY DON’T! Some people (and it's generally those in the “utter stranger” category that do this the most often) press and press and press! This has been one of my biggest surprises as a new mom. I expect surprise when the topic of E.C. comes up- but breastfeeding seems so much more mainstream. I’ve though a lot about this and have come up with a few explanations as to why I get questioned on the topic so often:

-If they did things differently with their children, they feel I may argue with them about our different choices, so they just jump in defending themselves before I am able to get a word out. (I don’t argue about this issue, by the way, nor do I condemn those who make different parenting choices than I.)
-They have simply learned and believe something different, like it’s ideal to introduce children to solids earlier or the idea that breastfeeding for six months will stunt a child’s palate, or…
-People think that by “denying” my daughter solid food, I am denying her pleasure. However, I see this very differently: Fauna loooooooves being cuddled up against my skin, hearing my voice closely talk to her, feeling my breathing, knowing she is safe and protected, plus- BONUS!-she gets all this WHILE eating! Talk about the height of hedonism!
-People think (maybe without even consciously recognizing it): “Kids love food, if I give kids food, I deduct that kids love me.” Simply put: others want to join in on the food-induced love fest.

And this last reason, is why I believe most of the people in my close circle, want to know- “So, when’s she going to start solids?” It’s not about validating their choices or defending themselves, it’s simply a round about way of asking how they can contribute more significantly to Fauna’s well-being. When can they hold the spoon to her mouth or mush the avocados or get her dinner plate ready? How can they help providing Fauna’s sustenance?

So, E.C. doesn't provide feeding opportunities but it certainly addresses some of this familial yearning to nurture your bloodline! At first some are a little intimidated when I suggest they take Fauna potty.
“Huh? I don’t know how! What if I do it wrong?”
But it’s not like that. As long as you know the sound cue, you know where pee and poo come out of a person, and you LOVE that person, you pretty much have all the tools for success.

When my mom and dad were here a week ago, they realized that indeed, helping with the potty was a snap! They made several comments about how happy she was going to the bathroom, which is true. When the diapers come off and she hears that sound cue, she is all grins! They were active participants in E.C. during their week long stay and enjoyed being a part of it. One time while we were watching Fauna play on her play mat, my mom even said, “Ummm, I think she has to go to the bathroom.”
Right on! Grandma’s already communicating with her grandbaby!

To their credit, when my folks heard about us practicing E.C. with Fauna, they were supportive from the get-go, but even those friends who initially looked at me strangely and lifted their eyebrows are getting into the action. All it takes is for them to be at the right place (my house) at the right time (when Fauna needs to pee) and watch the process unfold themselves and they are instantly impressed with how gentle and communicative the short little process is.

Okay, so next entry will feature an episode that took place in our house involving a case of E.C. gone too well- also entitled, “Daddy gets baby pee all over himself”. Betchu can’t wait.

For the E.C. Curious...

Hoping to make it to this upcoming session in LA on Elimination Communicaiton on March 8.
If you are going, email me so we can meet up! There's always more to learn- right?

Elimination Communication – How to Have a Diaper FreeBaby!
Ever wonder how much money you spend on disposable diapers each week?
Ever think about how much you are contributing to our landfills?
Ever consider how so many other countries make do without using diapers?

How would you like to learn how to strengthen your communication and bond with your baby? Learn the tricks, get tips, and hear the stories about how our babies (from birth) are using the toilet, wearing underwear, and letting us know when they have to go to the bathroom. The biggest plus:never change a poopy diaper AGAIN!!!

Speakers: HMN leader Yvonne Toussaint and HMN national spokesperson Mayim Bialik
7pm Monday night March 8th
4032 Whitsett Ave. Studio City CA 91604
for more info: 323.428.2587

What A Feelin' (I can really have it all!)

We took an unexpected trip to Seattle. This was Fauna’s first time on a plane, being away from home and the daddy it belongs to. She was a champ but a little potty shy. That makes me want to get more into the deeper EC issues…I need a book. A couple of members of the Yahoo group I joined gave me some suggestions.

Fauna did go a few times while we were away but I must admit, I wasn’t really on the ball since I was distracted by the other events going on. When we came home, things instantly went back to normal; she was smiling and laughing as we held her over the potty and she peed. Funny little bug.

Auntie Sam finished knitting a pair of legwarmers that look smashing on the little Faunster! When I arrived home, I found that my shipment from EBay had also arrived so she’ll be sassing up the flashdancer look as soon as I run the little knit tubes through the wash.

On another potty note: while we were away, I put Fauna in a couple of disposables. The first time I changed her diaper, her private area was much moister than it usually is (my guess is that it’s a side effect of the special plastic used in disposables that is air and water proof) and there were tiny little gel-like-crystals on her skin. I found out that this gel is made from sodium polyacrylate and it is what fills the diaper to make it hold more liquid…up to 100x it’s weight to be exact. I also found out that it’s been reported to cause severe skin irritations, oozing blood from the perineum and scrotal tissues, fever, vomiting, staph infections in babies, can cause female organ problems, was banned from tampons in 1985 due to its link to TSS, and has killed children who have ingested only 5 oz of it.
I mention this because I’ve heard a lot of gasps and giggles when people hear about the concept of EC. I’ve been told over and over how “unnatural” this whole thing is. I find it extremely interesting that some are so anxious to oppose EC yet are so willing to accept the fact that most babies in this country have their bums wrapped in plastic and chemicals 24 hours a day.

How is that natural?

I’m not here to judge, just presenting a counter argument to the mainstream.

About three days in to this EC thing there were a few problems that I came across:
Very, very few American families know about this process. I know one other person who has embraced EC whole-heartedly. At work the other day I was changing a baby’s standard disposable diaper and thought to myself, “I bet I’d lose a ton of work if parents knew I was using Elimination Communication with my own child. They’d think I was weird.” Seriously folks, when you heard I was doing this weren’t you like, “Huh?! What is she thinking? Yah, we’ll just see how this works.”
I’ve realized that people may interpret what we are doing as a means to brag about what our daughter can do. Honestly, it’s not about bragging rights- any child can do this! In fact, my desire is to share how ALL families that want to can add this meaningful element into their childrearing.
Needless to say, it’s a little lonely here and I could use some reassurance since I get a whole lot of sideways looks and plenty of discouraging comments.

This second issue is much more logistical: It’s a pain in the arse to button and unbutton baby clothes. Onesies aren’t that bad but the little legged sleepers are! It’s hard enough when I’m changing diapers, but when my baby signals that it’s time to go, unsnapping a bazillion snaps really creates a sort of panic in me. Baby clothes in my closet are not made with the EC child in mind.

Here is how I am going to set out to remedy these problems:
I’m joining the Yahoo group that my friend, Chelsea, suggested to me. It’s a Southern California “diaper free” online community that just might make me feel a little less lonely. Hopefully I’ll be able to learn a lot from them. I’m also going to embrace opportunities to answer people’s questions about what EC is and how it’s working for us…not shove it in anyone’s face but simply be a resource. Ya, I know it’s counter-culture but it’s not really that weird…unusual for the environment we live in, but not weird. I guess if people think the Schutts are a bit freakish, so be it- all I can do is attest to how it’s improving my family.
I’ve gone through Fauna’s massive amount of clothes and am going to pass along any hand-me-downs that contain excessive buttons or snaps up the legs. We’ll focus on two piece outfits with elastic waistbands. Additionally, I bought several pairs of baby leg warmers off of EBay and commissioned my sister, Sam, to knit some as well. This has got to be the easiest way to dress an EC baby, excluding the Birthday Suit option…it’s too cold for that yet. Plus, legwarmers are pretty much the coolest fashion accessory on the planet (exempting the gauntlet, which is much tougher to pull off without looking like you’re trying).

So, as problems arise I plan on tackling them like I have done this past week. As my first complete week of EC has come to a close, I’m more determined than ever to never return to traditional diapering methods. It may be lonely here but I really, really like it.

Oh! Here’s some inspiration that I found on YouTube. This clip is of a mother who has, along with the cutest seven-month- old on earth, four other kiddies. She claims that since there are more eyes and ears to watch for the baby’s eliminations signs, using EC is actually easier! I also love how this little snippet addresses a few cultural issues. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoMS83FztA4

PS I wrote this entry a while ago...had some out of town stuff come up- sorry I'm running late!

Two Days of Tinkle

I'll admit it. Day 1 wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I'd read lots of EC enthusiasts online and they encouraged me to, "just give it one day." If you are a parent who wants to try EC and are not super on the ball the first day, I'd have to encourage you to give it just one more than that…that’s what we needed to convince us anyway.

DAY 1, Sunday- Griff is home and we are both going to try to watch Fauna’s signs and put her on the potty.
I dunno, what am I looking for exactly? Random, adamant kicking seemed as good a sign as any, so when Fauna’s little stems started air-pedaling, I held her over the sink and made the sound cue a few times. She just stared back at herself in the mirror and laughed.
"This isn't going to work. How on earth would she know that I want her to pee right now?" I was Debbie Downer after just the first try.

Several hours later I felt that she needed to go. Can't explain it, but it's the same feeling I have when I peek in on her while she’s napping, sensing she is awake, and low and behold, she's just opening her eyes.
"I think she has to go." I told Griff. He took her diaper off and held her over the toilet.
"Sssshhhhhhh. Sssshhhhhhh." and then, "Mandy! She's going! "

I heard the tinkle in the toily as I popped my head into the bathroom. My ten week old had just peed on the potty! It must have been a fluke; no way could she have learned the sound cue that fast.

Griff was so excited that Fauna had chosen his turn to make things happen, that he watched her like a hawk for hours.
"How did you know she needed to go?" he asked.
"I just did."
"Well, that's not going to help us learn her signs."
"I know."

We did decide to set one thing in stone though-the sound cue. Griff had been using a, “sssshhhhh” sound and I was taking more of a “pssssspsssss” approach. I didn’t think this was a huge deal until I realized that “ssssshhhhh” is what I also use to comfort her when she’s having trouble sleeping. I have done absolutely no research on whether or not this matters even the teensiest bit. While the two sounds might be totally inconsequential, to me there is a huge difference between a voiceless postalveolar fricative (sh) and the combination of a voiceless bilabial plosive (p) with a voiceless alveolar fricative (s). DORKY, I know, but it annoyed me! You can take the girl from the classroom but you can’t take the classroom out of the girl. I needed to settle on our phonetic cue… “psssspssss” it was.

As the first day came to a close, I was still doubtful of everything except my ability to recall useless information like the names of phonemes.
I'd give it one more day.


DAY 2, Monday- I’m at home, Griff is at work.

The baby hadn't gone "big potty" at all during the first day. This is normal for an infant her age, but I've learned that when she skips a day, the following is usually a doosey. I'd read that a good way to start learning the baby's schedule is to just assume that they need to go when they wake up and a few minutes after they've completed eating/ drinking. Makes sense, that's when us big people usually need to go too. Indeed most babies have somewhat of a bowel schedule just like adults. So, on the second day as soon as she was awake and alert, I took her diaper off, knelt by the toilet and held her in a squat position.

"Pssssspssssss. Pssssssspssssssss. Go potty Baby. It's okay. Pssspsssssss. Psssssspsssss."

Holy literal crap!

She was pooing!!!

Little mustard-yellow tubes of breast milk poo were dropping into the toilet and floating to the bottom! I had never seen baby poo in this, its truest form. I'm so used to it being smashed all over the place or oozing out of a diaper that I was taken aback. Indeed in its original state, it is the shape of a baby's large intestine. My thoughts: "Go figure.” and “Duh, of course!" I was a little embarrassed in front of myself for being so shocked by the obvious.

Upon witnessing the gruntings of my daughter followed by her dainty golden poops, I became elated. My psssssssing got stronger and louder as I was cheering her on from behind and kissing her thinly-haired head from above.

"Good job Fauna Baby!!! You are doing so gooooood! (muah) Keep going!!! (muah, muah) You are so smart! That's it...anymore? Oh yes, there you go! (muah) You're doing great!" I had to be careful not to cheer too loudly in her little ear. She must have thought I was an idiot. "Um, Mom, I'm just pooping. Chill."

I wiped her practically royal butt as her head bobbled around, like it always does, completely unaware of what she had just done and how fricking ecstatic she had made her mother. Fauna was just doing the same ol’ same ol, sans diaper, but by allowing me to see what she was capable of I became inspired.(Sounds silly, like pooping is something unique and wonderful that my child is capable of!?)

Yes, sh*t happens, and when it does, it’s INSPIRING!


I called Griff at work to tell him the good news. It was clear by his voice that he was grinning from ear to ear. Grinning. Can you believe how a little poop can make a parent’s day?

So, for the rest of the day I watched her a little more closely. I “pottied” her when she woke from naps and before she went down for a nap, figuring that if she could get a little out, she’d have less to lie in while sleeping. I also pottied her after she ate or in the middle of a meal if she popped off and on the breast a lot. Sometimes she didn’t have to go, but almost all the time she did. I knew that this was all perfectly normal but I just kept on being shocked by every pee.

I didn’t take her diaper off between potty visits because I knew I wasn’t going to be super strict with rushing to the toilet and I still wanted to keep things tidy. Regardless of this, she used the toilet six times by the end of day two. I was hooked.

Even if we didn’t make it to the toilet every time she had to empty, even if we were still using diapers, this was a big deal. The thought of my daughter napping in a less-wet diaper or allowing her to have one less poo-sit made me happy. There are environmental benefits to using EC and I was having to wipe a peanut-butter-poop bottom waaaay less, which was convenient, but at the end of the day I was going to keep at this because it made me feel like a good mom. I am listening to my child, before she is capable of talking or even signing.

We started to get it. We weren’t reading all of Fauna’s signs yet, we were just sort of making it up as we went, but we started to understand what all the EC fuss was about.

"I'm not going to be one of THOSE parents!"

I'm not an extremist...really I'm not!

I was told by lots of my friends that I was being radical when I decided to cloth diaper my baby. Radical? Cloth diapers are practically as easy as disposables these days. You wash them twice a week and then stuff them, which takes about five minutes. The diapers attach like disposables and function even better, so while the term, "cloth diapering" might sound extreme, it truly isn't. I knew I'd use cloth diapers long before I had a baby's bum to wrap in them. But, when a few of my child-bearing friends started chatting about this fanatical new method of "Elimination Communication" I thought, "Well now, THAT'S extreme!"

"...and you put them over the toilet and make this pssspssspsss sound in their ear and they go PEE!"

It seemed ridiculous. In fact, it seemed militant. Imagine: a tinier that tiny baby being forced to pee on demand! These must be terrible parents! The sort of folks who brag about their kids knowing the alphabet at 14 months or train them to recite all 44 presidents by age 3. I knew that when I had kids I would not be one of those parents- by golly, my offspring would crap and tinkle in a diaper, just like all the other kids!

And then I remembered something.

I remembered being at a district border crossing in India. We got out of our car and waited while the uniformed men pretended to care about our paperwork. For the first time I processed something that I'd seen a gazillion times but never really thought about; a mother with her infant child, squatted close to the ground, held her baby out in front of her and the baby peed. I then realized, "I've been all over the world and have scarcely ever seen children in diapers."

So, after a few casual encounters with the term, "Elimination Communication" and seeing it in action primarily in a third world setting the concept seemed like something for parents who were either American extremists or, quite frankly, the world's extremely impoverished...either way it was just a little too extreme for me. The American-Raised Mandy couldn't mesh with the Well-Traveled Mandy on the matter quite yet. But, the more I heard about parents practicing this EC thing in the U.S. the more I was curious as to how it might be similar to what I'd seen abroad and I wasn't quite as quick to judge- after all if it's how the entire population of India does it, there's at least a billion kids who've survived the process!

Fast forward to a pregnant me. Remember that I live in a world where knowing about birth and babies is my livelihood. I make every attempt to cram my brain full of information on issues that might come up in a postpartum situation. I surround myself with people who know a ton more than I do about lots and lots of baby stuff so I can suck all the information from their massive brains. It was inevitable that some time during my pregnancy, one of these people would ask me, "By any chance, are you going to do EC?" Oh ya, that.

I ran it by one of my oldest friends, Kristina, I remembered her mentioning trying it a few times with her youngest daughter.

"Are you going to do it?" she asked

"Naa. It's so hard! I mean, it just seems like adding a lot of work when I'm already adjusting to being a parent." Shrug.

Now during my pregnancy I had it all...all-day sickness (I refuse to use the term, "morning sickness"...if only!), stretch marks, excessive swelling, and an overwhelming sense of being scared senseless. I was going to be a mother...oh dear God...I was going to be a MOTHER! I remember bawling my eyes out days before my daughter was born and blubbering to my husband, Griffin, "We've made a terrible mistake and we can't go back now! What if I don't love it? What if I'm bored by it? What if I'm not interested in being a mom- really being a mom?" And then on that fateful day, when I pulled her up from inside of me, it all changed- I mean everything was different. I went from being scared that I'd be bored to being thoroughly entertained by staring at this little person- waiting for her next move, a coo, a hand to clench, her eyes to open. I went from thinking she might not be "enough" to thinking that I could never be enough for her.

I wanted to see inside of her little mind, to know what she was thinking about. I wished she could talk to me because I wanted to know everything about her. And that is what lead me back onto the computer to research this EC thing.

My first stop was to a site called, Part Time Diaper Free. It encourages parents to shoot for one less diaper a week. I liked that. It made the process seem do-able. I started to understand that EC is not potty training at all, rather it's knowing when your baby has to empty and allowing them to do so without having a diaper on. I also realized that EC is not something you have to be bad-ass, hard-core about. You don't have to never use diapers, you can even do it if you work full time. This was appealing to me because I am going back to work soon and I typically work long, inconsistent hours. I'd imagined that my work hours would throw a kink into things, after all, I'd potty trained toddlers before and it requires a ton of consistency- EC is not potty training as we think of it. Someone on one of the sites explained typical potty training as parents teaching a child to "hold on" until a toilet is available. EC focuses more on training parents to know when their child needs to "release".

I liked the idea of learning from my baby, not just my baby learning from me.

The second inspiration came from a 19 minute online documentary called, Scout Go Pee Pee. I was immediately drawn in because the soundtrack to the movie primarily consisted of a mother singing her made-up songs . This is how I sing to my Fauna. So, right away I thought, "Well, this mom seems pretty normal. These families don't look like hippies or radicals, they look a lot like...us." Tie dye had been kept to a minimum.

As a doula and mother who is constantly seeking a view beyond the American way, I appreciated that several of the parents in the film were seemingly striving toward the same. One mom shares, "What's ironic is that the whole diapering thing is such a minority of the world...it's our culture applying what we feel is right- that everybody else must do it this way as well ...when most of the world doesn't."

Finally, there was a Youtube video of an Australian mother sharing her experience with EC on a morning show. She simply said,

"When I learned that my child was communicating to me, I couldn't unlearn that."

And there it was; EC was my "in" to knowing more about what my daughter was thinking. If my baby is telling me something, I certainly wanted to learn her language!

I told Griff everything I had researched and he was immediately on board. We would start tomorrow.

Our first few days as an EC Family coming soon...